Yesterday was a nearly perfect Christmas Day. I spent it at home with my immediate family. I wore stretchy pants all day and relaxed when I wasn't cooking. And the expressions on the boys' faces when they opened their presents were priceless. At one point my youngest threw himself into my arms as if I was Santa himself, which I guess I kind of was. We were very blessed as a family yesterday. And I may have made the most perfect prime rib that has ever been made. I actually jumped for joy when my husband started carving it and I saw that it was perfectly medium-rare. I win.
Today, however, I woke up in a foul mood. I still felt like Santa but now for different reasons. I felt bloaty and thick and unattractive. I could also discuss chin hairs left unattended over the holiday but that's a story for another day. I'm totally over Christmas today.
This morning I had one of the worse food hangovers ever. If you are like me you had way too much in the way of holiday foods and snacks over the last couple of days. If you are unfortunate to be like me you also still have many of these goodies still in your home. And if you are eternally screwed in the food department like me, you still have two more family gatherings to go to this coming weekend. Let's not even discuss New Year's Eve.
So I started this morning thinking about what I ate and feeling guilty and full of regret. But I stopped it as quickly as I could. Holidays are always about family and friends and yes, food. It's what we do. We love each other with food. It's why I made the cookies and other desserts that remind my husband of childhood Christmases. It's why he shoved a bunch of truffles in my stocking. It's why I slathered a bunch of honey butter on homemade popovers for the boys.
One of the things I always told myself and others the first go-around on weight loss was this, "Even naturally thin people eat too much on holidays, birthdays or vacations." Then they come home, go back to their regular schedule and the weight they gained comes right off. Do they feel guilty about what they ate? I have no clue. I'm not privy to how the brain of a naturally thin person works. For me it's like trying to read German or Chinese. (FYI: I can translate "fried dumpling" in 2.5 seconds)
One thing I know is that guilt and shame are not productive emotions for anything. Not a damn thing. So brush off the tinsel and the glitter (hey, no judgment on your "traditions") and go back to taking care of yourself, whether it's with healthy food or exercise or just being kind to yourself. And if not today, then tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, then the next day. Just don't wait until New Year's Day. You know how I feel about that.
This is the 1st year I have absolutely no guilt about my Holiday eating. I was supposed to be losing weight to get a better fit on my birthday dress. A few days before my party I realized not only did I not have a better fit, but I couldn't fit the darn thing. This didn't phase me, but my partner's reaction to the fact, "that dress ain't fittin' you like it was before" [scoffing laugh] did upset me. Anyways, I pulled it together and wore something just as fabulous...even better if I don't say so myself.
ReplyDeleteThat statement "Even naturally thin people eat too much on holidays, birthdays or vacations." is so true. I want to have the mindset of a naturally thin person. I don't want to have this unhealthy relationship with food or body image issues at any weight. I am not attempting to lose weight for body image (I love me) nor for other people (They love me). I want to lose weight for my poor knees and future active lifestyle as a senior.